FEMALE IRRATIONALITY

There’s no doubt about women’s irrationality. Not all of course, some being aware of the problem seek a cure in lesbianism. Furthermore, it seems to work as all the lesbians I know are measurably saner than the general mob of women.

But here’s a classic example of women’s lack of logic. Sam, one of my company’s executive directors, is currently going through hell on the home front through his new born son keeping him and his wife up all night, screaming and such-like disgracefully in-considerate carrying-on.

Sam’s certainly got better things to do than put up with that intolerable nonsense so I made a helpful proposal. Specifically, I suggested he emulate Graham Greene and put the bugger up for adoption.

The next day he advised that his wife objected to this proposition, notwithstanding she being a major law firm partner who one would hope might have more sense, but sadly not so. I informed Sam that Greene suffered the same wifely irrationality to the adoption proposal so overcame that by shifting in with his mistress.

While Sam’s been contemplating that option, relief came from an unexpected quarter, specifically news from Brazil of the first ever artificially inseminated birth of a jaguar. So what? I hear you ask.

Well the Brazilian zoologists bragging about this new accomplishment came to an abrupt halt when three days later the jaguar mum ate her new-born. This surely was the answer to Sam’s problem. We discussed the best way to do this, Sam leaning towards baby fried rice, I towards roasting as at this juncture the flesh, such as it is, would be a bit floppy. Anyway, he’s taking it up this weekend with his wife and hopefully she will show some sense and accept the logic of this proposal.

We have six females in our Wellington office filling various management functions which one naturally would assume would lead to chaos and eventual bankruptcy.

But not so. Here’s why. On arrival each morning the Wellington Manager whose 6ft, 8inches gives them all a damn good caning. It works wonders madness-avoidance-wise and I strongly recommend it to other employers.