My God God’s been in a shitty mood this year, lashing out in all directions.
Not content with setting Australia on fire he now bangs a plague on the world. The bugger lacks imagination, after all he’s done that plenty of times in the past, so too economic depressions.
In fairness he did show some originality last week by laying a tidal wave on Wellington. It was quite a spectacle when it hit the harbour entrance in a white wall right across. And laying an earthquake on Queensland was on face value a points scorer. But he cocked up by overlooking lots of expat Kiwis live there and are used to earthquakes. Mind you, I can imagine his gleeful cackling when an American black preacher declared he had faith in God to protect him and went ahead with a large church service. God promptly smote him with the virus and he was dead 4 days later. Apart from humour, why?
Lots of possible reasons spring to mind such as a piss-take but the likeliest one is God doesn’t like blacks, notwithstanding they being his creation.
What’s clear from all of this is God badly needs a break. He should pick out a few dozen pretty angels and emulate the Thai king. A week back His Majesty gathered up his 20 strong harem, confiscated a Thai Air jet and they all flew to Thailand for 3 days, then back to his German bolt-hole where he resumed servicing the girls.
In the interim God’s free to beam me up for a bit of Godding while he’s preoccupied with the angels.
Where would I start?
There’s obvious targets such as the North Korean barrel of lard dictator. I’d have the standard parade before 100,000 petrified citizens, only Kim would be on a platform stark naked so his long suffering populace could see him in his true light and the absurdity that such a piece of garbage has been calling the shots. But he’d not be my first pick to deal to.
First up has to be the dumpy hand-wringing woman inflicted on TV viewers by our government, simpering away about being kind to one another.
Has such infantile cruelty ever been inflicted on a populace anywhere?
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When God made man she was having fun and never stopped.
Ha ha. Even as a Christian I find that funny. But don’t worry, you’ll be ‘beamed up’ soon enough.
Winston Churchill made his famous speeches to an open and operating parliament. Jacinda Ardern makes her mindless witterings to the fawning and simpering mainstream media. And, when she’s not doing that she is grinning inanely at us all and speaking to us as if we were all 4-year-olds sitting on the mat at kindy. Someone, please make it stop.
Greg Moore.
The day after the election:
H. Congratulations Cindy
J. Gee thanks mum, I mean Helen.
Me and that guy, you know the one you said you liked his name, had sex last night, I think his condom burst. Should I have an abortion like I’ve bin preaching support for?
H. Nah, you can just change your mind like I used to, the stupid NZers, the ones that vote for us, won’t mind, just take their mind off it, ban oil, then you can keep the bastard.
J. That’s a good idea, got any more?
H. Plenty.
I used to change my mind to suit, I marched for human rights when the springboks were here, then I didn’t give a **** about human rights when I did the trade deal with China.
J. What else mum, I mean Helen.
H. You just get on the stage and use the same front you used in that communist party conference in Hungary, and I’ll make all the decisions and write your speeches for you.
J. Gosh mum, I mean Helen. Gee thanks.
2 years later:
J. Mum, I mean Helen, What about this Covid thingy, what will I do?
H. I’ll sort that, as long as I, I mean we, can stick the boot into the UN boss at every chance, did I say that out loud?
J. How wool we start mum, I mean Helen?
H. We’ll lock em all up, and talk to them once a day.
J. Gee, this sounds even better than communism! Can we give them all that money that John Key made for us?
H. Yesth. But don’t mention that to the idiots.
J. Okay mum, I mean Helen, what else?
H. Try talking to the public like they are school children, they will be able to relate to that, as they aren’t too bright. Keep moving your head to the left and right, remember how Barrack taught us.
J. (Agrees, trying to purse her lips and nodding her head like a horse at feed up)
I think they’ll love me, like that guy did on election night. Gee he’s bin a rilly good babysitter.
H. One thing Cindy, I’d give up on the hand movements while you’re on the platform, you’re confusing the **** out of the deaf and dumb out there.
J. Okay mum, what next.
H. Like true leaders, we’ll wait and watch what happens overseas.
Bob and Neville….bloody excellent stuff. Very good. I’ll bet the woke pc virtuous bitch’s will be fuming. Anybody know if they’ve pushed through the prison voting thing yet , while the Covid thing hides it ??
If you are looking to write another thoughtful piece on our Governments virus performance may i suggest you compare NZ to South Korea. From what i can see they represent the global highest standard of performance. Wouldn’t it have been nice if someone from the Government thought to ask ideas from a country that has been through this recently.
This is non- sensical commenting and wittering on .
Talking bullshit , shouting from the sidelines and barking at passing cars.
And that doesn’t even include Bob’s utterances.
Thought this might be a distraction and an enlightening exercise.
Doing my head in.
I’ll be glad to get back to work next week.
Not because I miss work but at least I’ll be connecting with some ” real ” people.
At a safe distance mind.
Don’t want to end up as part of ” The Swedish Solution ”
Yeah , I’m angry.
Let’s just get this in our rear view mirror before we start the blame game and recriminations , eh ?