There’s a quite extraordinary genius in our country, hitherto unknown but who has astonishing powers, currently going to waste. His name is Duncan Copley of Milford, Auckland.
Only a few days after the election, in a letter published in the New Zealand Herald, Duncan advised that, “a significant number of National voters voted Labour to prevent Labour being forced into introducing a wealth tax”.
Now almost 1,200,000 votes were cast for Labour so for Duncan to know what he wrote, in the 3-4 days between the election and publication of his letter, he must have personally grilled all 1,200,000. That’s unlikely, leaving the conclusion that plainly Duncan has extraordinary mental, if not divine powers, to automatically know what circa 1.2 million voters were thinking.
While it’s of interest to have his insight on the election there are numerous more useful things he could tell us. For example, Duncan alone could support the whole nation by using his astonishing talents, in conjunction with Treasury providing the funds, to advise the results in advance of the thousands of horse races and other daily events on which gambling occurs world-wide. Treasury would place the bets on behalf of the nation and very soon we’d be the richest country on earth.
Given his amazing powers it’s conceivable Duncan’s talents extends to the physical. If so, no longer will be the need to pick an All Black team. Instead Duncan alone could run on to the field and doubtless single-handedly, score and convert try after try as he thrashed the Wallabies and all other opponents.
So too with cricket. Duncan with a stooge at the other end, by scoring a single off the last ball of each over so as to continue facing, could knock up a quick 500 off 15 or so overs then put the Aussies, Indians or whoever into bat, and bowl the lot out with 10 deliveries inside 3 overs. The stooge would of course bowl the second over.
It’s imperative that Duncan Copley be traced so as to put to use his extraordinary talents. The fate of the nation hangs on this.
The interesting question is why have we not heard of him hitherto? I think I have the answer.
For 2000 years Christian prosletyers have spoken of the imminent Second Coming. Well bugger me, it seems it’s finally eventuated in the form of Duncan Copley and thus his powers are explainable by being divine.
End the lockdown and a million pilgrims will descend on Milford from across the world to seek out Duncan (sorry Jesus) to pay appropriate homage. The economic boost will be phenomenal.
3 Comments
With 10 friends on facebook, plus over 40 years in insurance underwriting (in only 2 companies), he obviously feels he knows it all!
Copley may have an explanation though for the fact the so many electorates were won by Labour on the Party Vote. Amazing!! Why would so many Party votes go to Labour.
Yes you can speculate all sorts of theories as to why so many Nats jumped ship to Lab. What needs to be assessed is what does Duncan consider the meaning of the word significant? Though most of us would consider him to mean the majority of the swing vote.
Al few theories to fuel the debate;
– Was the Lab vote, more so a Jacinda mania vote?
– Was Lab’s support based on covid fear and result to date?
– Was the vote an Anti Nat shambles vote?
– Presume much of the Act vote was ex NAT & NZF?
– Was the electorate, especially farming community, so fearful of the green policy, they had enough foresight to strategically vote Lab, to ensure Green’s had little or none of their far left policy, incl wealth tax, this next term?
Suspect these and many other reasons as to why Lab won so big.
Though, not surprised why NZ Herald published this letter.
Just proves to me the lack of journalistic integrity of our press.