Former TV One Newsreader Liz Gunn has informed the nation that the recent earthquake centred on Taumarunui was nature’s reaction to the “tyrannical Prime Minister’s vaccine policy”, which Liz equated with rape.
That sounds reasonable.
While this is a fresh angle on quakes I still favour Bishop Tamaki’s explanation for Christchurch’s devastating earthquake, specifically God’s wrath at the rampant homosexuality in the city. On face value His Grace’s explanation may sound puzzling given God’s proclivity for bowling about in a ballgown, but as we know, he works in mysterious ways. But puzzle no longer, instead join the dots for in fact Liz and His Grace are singing from the same songsheet.
It’s well established that Taumarunui is the country’s renown Mecca for orgiastic homosexual activities so it may well be Liz and His Grace are on to something.
In light of that it would be a fitting gesture if one of our stuffy university’s seismology Departments paid tribute to Liz and His Grace with Honorary Doctorates for bringing fresh thinking to this field, instead of their same old unimaginative shifting tectonic plates guff.
Visionaries have been pilloried throughout history. Four centuries back during the then establishment Catholic Church Inquisition, Galileo was forced to recant for claiming that the earth revolved round the sun, which heresy contradicted the Holy Scripture.
As with Galileo, time may well prove Liz and the Bishop were spot on with their explanation for earthquakes and their names will for ever after be reverently mentioned along with Archimedes, Galileo, Newton and Darwin in the annals of great scientific thinkers.