Given the demonstrated subservience by some Kiwis to plainly idiotic rules, imagine the fun one could have if Prime Minister for a day.
Open with the standard press conference to follow the now established model, some softening up mush about Easter bunnies and the like, then announce three new edicts.
ONE “From tonight all lights must be off by 8pm and everyone in bed. The armed forces will assist the police and monitor all households.
TWO Heterosexual activity is strictly forbidden to avoid a possible birth explosion in 9 months time and put pressure on the hospitals and midwives.
This does not apply to homosexual activity, indeed being an open-minded Labour government, we actively encourage it, with the usual proviso of washing your hands with soap before and after the act.
THREE Finally, given the wonderful co-operation demonstrated by citizens, when a virus vaccine eventually becomes available, we intend introducing another life-saving initiative.
The government will borrow an estimated $15 billion and buy all existing motor-vehicles, including motorcycles, as their use will become illegal.
This initiative will put an end once and for all to the annual circa 350 road toll deaths. I have no doubt my fellow citizens will see the wisdom of these life-saving rules and co-operate in the same splendid fashion as they’ve done with the virus threat”.
NOTE: And the feeble buggers would.