One of the nation’s top private girls school wrote to me a week back about my 12 year old daughter.
The letter was addressed to “Hi Robert” and signed by someone called “Senior Absences”.
We’ve discussed this in the office and after some debate, concluded “Absences” is probably Hindi while “Senior” is the sort of Christian name some Americans would give their sons. If so, probably the letter was written by an ethnic Indian migrant from America.
What Senior wrote, with no comma after “Hi Robert” and a superfluous one after the second word in the letter, was as follows.
“Your daughter, Amelia Jones was marked absent from College yesterday. Please reply with an explanation”.
MY REPLY
Dear Mrs/Mr Senior Absences,
re; Amelia Jones
Unfortunately on her way to school, Amelia was viciously attacked by a herd of zebras. It took her 5 hours to kill the lot after which there seemed little point carrying on to school.
Yours faithfully,
Sir Robert Jones
To date no reply.