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WHAT NEXT FOR THE GHASTLY JAMIE ROSS?

My pick is he’ll start a religion. Empty churches are popping up for sale everywhere. Ross needs to find an old lady sucker to buy him one then he dons a ball-gown and is back in business.

Admittedly sky-baying is a crowded field so he’ll need to create a few off-beat angles to establish a point of difference and attract followers. History say conspiracies work best, although free sex is also a proven winner in this well trodden activity.

Sadly Colin Craig seems to be fading after a decade of providing wonderful entertainment so a void certainly exists for Ross to fill.

With luck, following his Serious Fraud Office criminal prosecution next year, Ross cops a token deterrence short prison sentence. Therein lies his religious angle, so this could be a blessing, namely persecution and martyrdom for pursuing great truths.

Given his Advance Party form he should be able to attract and starting 100 parishioners and at a tenner a week each he can keep the cat fed during the initial stages.

Thereafter, the opportunity lies in selling bishoprics. At say $10,000 a pop I’d certainly be in it and I can think of at least half a dozen others who’d do likewise.

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