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THE FUTURE – ONE YEAR ON

In her daily four hour television address to the nation shown compulsorily on all television channels by decree, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern yesterday announced that from September all motor-vehicles will be banned. As provided for in the Treaty, maori drivers alone will be exempt.

She advised the government has set aside fifty billion dollars to purchase the vehicles and an announcement will be made next Wednesday in which the date will be announced when it will be announced the purchasing programme will commence.

By banning motor vehicles, the Prime Minister said, New Zealand will prevent over 350 deaths per annum. Additionally, our team, now down to 4,000,000 through the heavy and traitorous exit of selfish citizens, fleeing abroad, will no longer see loved ones, currently over 4,000 annually suffer permanent injuries and hospitalisation.

The policy was in line with last month’s announcement banning sea and river swimming to prevent drownings. In conclusion, she said, New Zealand is leading the world in life-saving initiatives.

Finance Minister Grant Robertson followed the Prime Minister and advised a contract with a major Japanese company was currently under negotiation, to purchase the nation’s vehicles which they planned to re-sell to African nations and India and thus hopefully recoup a substantial portion of the purchasing outlay.

The Minister further advised that Treasury projections anticipated this measure would provide a major economic stimulus from the breeding of horses and manufacturing of carts to replace the motor vehicles. Additionally, it would assist the nation’s goal to lead the world in global warming measures in ensuring no obnoxious petrol emissions. The ending of costly oil imports will be a positive financial measure to offset the current permanent ban on tourists and foreign students and last week’s prohibition on citizens leaving Aotearoa.

In line with these green goals an announcement would be made in a fortnight on the date of the announcement to prohibit environmentally polluting dairy farming and their replacement by clean oat farming for horse feed.

Finally, Health Tsar Sir Ashley Bloomfield finished the daily broadcast with his much admired rap performance in maori, urging everyone to be kind.

An overnight Herald poll revealed 84% of the public strongly endorsed these new initiatives.

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