News that a Finnish town Joensuu, is to stage the world’s first ever Heavy Metal Knitting championship caused some mirth in Britain. Contestants knit while listening to this rubbish for one minute, the winner being the most productive knitter. Apparently the entry list is lengthy which probably explains the one minute limit.

My company has an annual Olympics which includes such eagerly contested events as Pixie dancing, not always a pleasant spectacle given a couple of our blokes are 6ft 6inches.

This year’s title went to a run-off, causing some anger by one of the finalists, namely our chief accountant, after he was edged out by a temp who he argued should have been ineligible.

Such unsporting quarrelling and bitterness at these outcomes seem to be their hall-mark and never more so than with my annual triumph with the best-looking male cup, a result I would have thought was fairly undebatable.


” the best-looking male cup”. Good humour Bob. I was thinking that your
“Undebateable” male beauty in that year was only surpassed by your huge well of humility.?
I still think your TV discussion with Jeremy Wells with red wine and cigars was one of the funniest interviews I have seen.
Keep the good humour coming, it is becoming a dying practice in our society and amongst the mainstream media journo’s and politicians who hog the mainstream media space.

I know that this is slightly off-piste. However, I’ve often thought that a pre-requisite to getting married should be the ability to decorate a house in a manner that doesn’t cause dire retribution, gnashing of teeth or tut-tutting from sundry mother-in-laws. Maybe we could create a new sport, the 25metre, hallway wallpapering while listening to heavy metal; that would sort the wannabes from the try-hards.

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