MORE NONSENSE

The new Police Association President, Chris Cahill who bears an astonishing resemblance to an under‑nourished turnip, may well be one given his latest utterance. Brace yourself.

“The last thing New Zealand needs,” he wrote in a press release, “is politicians ignoring the role firearms play in mass shootings”.

Well that’s certainly a revelation I’ll bet you didn’t know.

As it transpired while I was writing this, Police Minister Stu Nash phoned to invite me to dinner.

“I’ve just read the most alarming claim,” I said to him. “According to the Police Trade Union boss, firearms play a role in mass shootings. Did you know that?” “Sounds like utter nonsense to me,” Stu replied.

ABUSING POLITICIANS

Six weeks back the Dominion Post newspaper’s very competent political reporter Stacey Kirk wrote a sign‑off farewell article. She’s moving to fresh fields and good luck to her.

Amidst the various anecdotes and highlights she recounted was this passage.

“… if there’s one thing I’ve learnt during my time covering the day‑to‑day grind, the cut and thrust of New Zealand politics, it’s that nearly everyone in this place is here to make a difference.

BLOW-HARD BERCOW BAMBOOZLED BY BORIS

The worst Parliamentary Speaker in Britain’s history, the posturing, attention‑seeking, interfering John Bercow has been beautifully skewered by Boris suspending of Parliament.

“A constitutional outrage”, the blow‑hard spluttered, adding, “an offence against democracy.”

What arrogant nonsense. As he’s entitled to do, Boris has closed Parliament for a month, not eternity, while he proceeds with Brexit in late September without interference from the dwindling Remainder mob, the true anti‑democrats who seek to over-ride the people’s expressed will.

SLOPPY JOURNALISM

“Economics student 21” with her whole life ahead of her ”dies suddenly …” so proclaimed Britain’s Daily Mail.

Her “whole” life? Plainly they’re suggesting her first 21 years were part of someone else’s existence.

Not to be outdone this morning’s Dominion Post Eleanor Wenman writes of a 90 year old bloke, who she tells us, has “lived every minute of his long life”. That’s not remarkable. Far more interesting if she’d write about a 90 year old who’s periodically been dead during their long life.

MUTTON AND LAMB

I enjoyed the carry‑on between Brazil’s Trumpian President Jair Bolsonaro and France’s posturing President Macron over derisory remarks (they were actually rather mild) about Macron’s elderly wife Brigette.

Brigette was a school‑teacher, married with 3 children when she met the 25 years younger Macron, then one of her pupils.

Years later after her marriage ended she married Macron which obviously, given the age gap, aroused attention. Prominent English novelist Julian Barnes’s, excellent latest work “The Only Story”, revolves around such a love affair between a 19 year old student and a 48 year old spirited housewife. Such things happen.

Brigette is blessed being (on my estimation) one of about 20% of females born slim‑hipped. The great advantage they enjoy is never getting hippy fat, thus in their 60s and onwards, always having a natural elegance and generally belying their years. But, and there certainly is a but, they make damn fools of themselves if they then try and emulate teenagers in their dress.

The cold hard fact is Brigette looks ridiculous solely because of her young girl’s totally unsuitable, wig-like hair-style. Thus she deservedly cops the stock cliché ridicule, specially in France, of mutton dressed as lamb. It’s self‑inflicted damage.

There are many aspects of this. For example, South East Asian women epitomise in both figure and face, the western ideal of feminine beauty. More to the point they retain a youthful beauty a couple of decades longer than western women; ergo they can get away with the sexiest and simplest of female hairstyles, namely ponytails, into their fifties. Unless they have very youthful features, most western woman over 30 with a ponytail would look ridiculous.

This is not just a female issue. There’s no sillier sight than a middle‑age and sometimes older male, dressed like a teenager and wearing a ponytail or hair bun. They’re the epitome of wetness.

Growing old gracefully is a desirable trait, which is not to say one can’t still be at “it”, play sport, albeit not as well as in earlier years, and so on.

Were Brigette to pull her hair back from her face, or if she is wearing a wig, wear a more suitable one, the scorn she cops in France and elsewhere would cease. She may well owe Bolsonaro thanks for his dig, that’s if she acts on it.