Reporting on a plain fare, new two level Tauranga building, its construction project managers, an outfit called ‘The Building Intelligent Group’, wrote in their newsletter, “New Zealand Businesses are imprinting a strong social element into their DNA”. If that tosh is not bad enough, the name of the building is definitely a flogging offence. Brace yourself – it’s called “The Kollective”.
Why? There’s no such word although plainly it’s meant, so they tell us, not as a pointless butchering of English but “as a play on the word collective, inspired by local iwi Ngai Tamarawaho”. What world class cock! It will come as no surprise that behind all of this running amok with other people’s money, is a public body, in this case the Tauranga Energy Consumer Trust.
The Trust’s role is to provide electricity, nothing more. But, with other people’s money at their disposal they’ve decided to venture into feel-good stuff and have built a structure to provide accommodation for diverse non-profit organisations. Why they don’t tell us but instead embark on an explosion of mind-blowing gibberish.
Doing this they call “embarking on a journey”, “ground-breaking”, the abdominal name as “unique” (hardly disputable – it’s uniquely atrocious), “a powerful vision”, “a melting pot for tremendous success”. The interior of this elementary two-level building is described as “vibrant yet professional”, according to the building manager being someone with the questionable name Gordy. “Inside, wayfinding (I’m not making this up) through this largely open plan space”, Gordy explains, “is a colour-coded journey of break-out areas, co-working spaces, meeting pods, a kitchen aptly named the Kafe” – I can’t go on. Trust me it gets worse. One thing’s certain. If we still had capital punishment the Trust’s Board would all swing. Gordy could avoid that fate by pleading insanity for which the above guff he, she or it-these days one’s never sure, has spouted being sufficient evidence, but should still cop a thousand lashes for this brutal assault on our language.
It’s long overdue for strict legislation on public bodies, and in particular local Government Councils, to have their roles and functions clearly prescribed. They’re a magnet for lightweights imbued in fashionable virtue-signalling at the public’s expense.