So claimed the Herald in a heading on it’s web-site in an item which would be a shoo-in for the fiction-writing award of the year.

So what shock move by the Queen did the Herald reveal? Had she converted to Islam, strangled then fried an ostrich, run rampantly shouting obscenities, naked down Pall Mall in a drunken binder, smashing awe-struck tourists over the head with a dildo? Sadly, nothing interesting like that.

What so-called “shock move” she’d done in fact was absolutely nothing at all. Instead the writer speculated that she could dissolve Parliament, the operative word being “could”. The odds of her doing that are massively less than her doing the naked streak down Pall Mall.

Furthermore, what made this item particularly outrageous was it went on to quote various authorities, rightly scoffing at the proposition.

This sort of guff does no service to the Herald’s courageous attempt to establish a paywall, moreso as their web-site has always been inferior to its still free rival Stuff.

Wellington QC Hugh Rennie shares with me a life-long love of newspapers and we mutually mourn their decline. Recently he (rightly) argued I was duty-bound to subscribe to the Herald paywall site as a gesture of support. I shall but this sort of creative news crap is hardly encouraging.

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