A few weeks back I popped up to Hong Kong to have a look at the carry‑on. Walking a gauntlet of 18,000 (according to the media) screaming and bellowing mainly young folk on arrival was off‑putting. Worse still was the illiteracy of the leaflets seemingly all 18,000 tried to thrust on me. I accepted only those from the prettiest girls, a mistake as I was then virtually imprisoned by television interviewers ridiculously demanding to know if the world was aware of what was going on.

The following day I ventured into the heat to watch that day’s march but gave it away after an hour when it descended into an 8 hour staring contest with the police. The result, – a draw.

Queenstown District Court Judge Bernadette Farnam, a few days ago not only disgracefully let down the judiciary but indeed the whole world. This was after she threw out an allegation of threatening behaviour against a bloke who was angry over a bet.

That’s of no moment, what is was the issue at stake, namely an argument over whether the earth is flat or a globe.

Here was a wonderful opportunity, probably the first ever anywhere, for a Court to once and for all decide this highly contentious issue and I imagine Judges across the land cursed at not having the same opportunity. Instead Judge Farnam cowardly kicked for touch and shied from a declaration on this important matter.

No matter though, all right‑thinking people can plainly see for themselves the earth is flat and I can only suspect the Judge may have had doubts because of Queenstown’s mountains.

If there’s any evidence required of what a lousy investment Bitcoin is, the fact that its promoters resort to fraud provides it.

Back from Hong Kong and Scotland I found a deluge of letters advising that once again my name was being used to promote this rubbish.

First, Bitcoin is not by any definition an investment. Rather, it’s a speculation based solely on the age‑old bigger fool principle, namely the hope that other mugs will come in and drive up the price.

The major problem with this proposition is that its market comprises dumb buggers and dumbies don’t usually have any money.

DO NOT BUY BITCOIN – IT’S RUBBISH

While its impossible to trace the culprits behind this fraud I’d give long odds on one thing. That is they’re mugs who’ve bought in and are taking a beating.

I’ll say it again.

BITCOIN IS A GARBAGE NON‑INVESTMENT

An Auckland meat worker, Kukyi Tupuanga, was fired for allegedly making “racist” comments.

Specifically, he made numerous insulting and threatening remarks about Islam to an Islamic halal co‑worker and on the evidence deserved to be booted. Tupuanga openly admitted to the abuse and threats of violence charges but rightly took umbrage at the racism assertion. Employment Authority member Vicki Campbell was quoted, “While a meat works is a robust environment I find Mr Tupuanga’s comments and conduct was capable of being regarded as serious misconduct.”

A Russian commercial pilot with a full passenger complement, took off from Moscow and ran into a flock of birds; ergo no functioning engines. Fortunately Moscow is surrounded by flat farm land so as the jet gradually lost its momentum the pilot glided it into a cornfield and landed safely.

Unbelievably this action has been acclaimed world-wide as “heroic” and the pilot is now to receive Russia’s highest bravery reward.