SENSATIONAL NEWS

Under the heading “Latest News” on the Sunday Stuff website was the shocking line, (brace yourself and read no further if you have either a weak heart or generally are stressed).

“TEACHER CLIPS SON ON THE EAR.” And how do we know about this appalling news? Because the teacher, on learning from the Police that his son had shoplifted and clipped him over the ear, appeared before the Teachers Disciplinary Tribunal. The Disciplinary Tribunal, doubtless clad in life-jackets to avoid drowning in their own wetness, duly declared this to be serious misconduct. God help us all.

The teacher, understandably, has cried enough and shifted to Australia and who can blame him? The ratbag son has gone to live with his mother, presumably for appropriate mollycoddling and recovery therapy.

MUCH BETTER NEWS

If the above item says much about New Zealand, conversely a wonderful heading at the same time on the Daily Mail website says everything about Britain. It reads, “Lesbian mother crossed the channel in a dinghy to smuggle her children into Britain after leaving her wife for a sperm donor.” If I was 20 years younger I’d shift there tomorrow because of the relentless laughter and absurdities.

One Comment

The latter certainly is an amusing and evocative headline. Still in regards to the former, sensationalist clickbait aside, I have been considering recently boring front page headlines as a heuristic of a well functioning country – hysterical headlines perhaps being another symptom of overall uneventfulness.

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