In a message to Australians re the terrible bush fires goofy Prince Charles advised he is “praying for them in a most determined way.” What a bloody impertinence!

Plainly if God wanted Australia burnt to ashes then Charles “determined praying” implies God’s cocked up, and arrogantly constitutes asking him to change his mind. Well it’s a bit bloody late for that now.

Far better advice to Aussies pertinent to the unseen all-powerful one is in future to listen to his earthly agent, namely Israel Folau. He generously gave plenty of warning and was publicly slandered by all and sundry.

How then to make amends and appease God’s wrath to prevent further punishment? Logically Australians should now apologise to Israel then follow his advice. As with so many of history’s religions, human sacrifices are called for to appease God, in this case, according to Israel, homosexuals and fornicators.

As the latter category covers nearly everyone, better to confine it to homosexuals with say mass hangings, or in the tradition of Folau’s particular supernaturalism, namely Christianity, public burnings at the stake. That sounds sensible, should please God and doubtless Israel would support it.

As for Charles’ “determined praying”, given the water crisis combatting the fires, he being so unbelievably sopping wet, should instead chuck in insulting God with his determined praying and pop across to Australia and step into the inferno. Such a drenching would see it all over in minutes.


HRH possibly has his hands full sorting out his family’s problems without messing with Australia’s. Anyway God’s on the global warming case and is blowing up a volcano to sort it. Just keep Him away from large asteroids.

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