MASSIVE SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH

The Dominion Post recently revealed a world-shaking scientific breakthrough.

Over the holiday period it’s run a series of interviews with diverse ordinary folk, hitting them with a dozen or so questions; the purpose; to record ordinary folk’s attitudes to this and that.

A few days ago it opened the batting with one interviewee, a 24 year old woman, with the question, “Is there intelligent life on other planets?” Her earth-shaking answer; “Most definitely.”

This revelation ranks her with Galileo, Darwin, Newton and other great scientific minds but the dumb Dom’ interviewee typically failed to appreciate the significance of this amazing revelation and follow up regarding the evidence. Instead it moved on to what this young woman would like to be reincarnated as, and such-like nonsense.

This is tragic. This woman must be reinterviewed pronto to tell the world of this “definite” knowledge, known only to her out of the estimated 107 billion humans anthropologists claim have existed throughout history. Then again, my qualification as a world authority on young women, tells me this response may have been somewhat glib.

She was described as a “professional” although in what discipline we were not told. I don’t want to cause alarm but imagine if she’s a doctor. “Doctor; I’ve got a sore toe.”

“Right; we’ll put you down for a heart transplant pronto.”

Then again, in line with the modern assault on language, these days the word ‘profession’ has been extended to every activity, no matter how trivial, from stop-go sign holding to coffee pourers (sorry; baristas). Let’s hope, (as I expect) her ‘profession’ is in that category.