The Herald’s Ana Samways, always good for an amusing offbeat story, reports an Australian study shows physical attractiveness results in lighter court sentences. To that I say, quite bloody right. Ugly buggers should be locked up permanently, whether guilty or not.

Good-looking people (like me for example) should be given everything they seek for brightening everyone’s lives by their mere existence. That reality has kept me out of prison for 8 decades, although the women can be a problem, which I suppose is stating the obvious.

I’ve overcome that problem in our Wellington office by giving the females full length photos of me for their bedroom walls. Our rather ugly Wellington director Sam also has one. It’s been replaced three times now, he wearing it out through intense admiring gazing.

All of this is another reason to hope the socialist Greens are wiped out this election. They’re all borderline hideous and inevitably will want to tax beauty, motivated out of envy, as with their anachronistic economic policies.

But if replaced by a true Green Party which, as an aside might get my vote and financial support, they’d advocate us good-looking people pay no taxes for enhancing the environment. But such impeccable logic is doubtless beyond them.


Like many extremely good looking people, you obviously struggle to be taken seriously. Like that other boxing pin-up intellectual – Muhammad Ali – if you keep fighting the fight, people will ultimately see past the beautiful packaging and come to admire the brain rather than the brawn. Good luck.

markscreaminggoosearmstrong August 11, 2020 at 12:12 pm

Sir Robert, your logic is inescapable here.

My only fear is I get cocky and commit crimes against unbridled capitalism, for which I will remain incarcerated only for as long as it takes to get me before a female judge.

Female judges – and leaders and lawyers – are generally my preference if only because females make much better decisions on matters of justice because they don’t seem to see war as a good option for righting wrongs but rightly only as an excuse for unbridled capitalism. Am I right?

NB All good geese of sound health have both a right wing and a left one.

The highlight of my day is reading Bob’s latest musings.

Then there are those of us who kindly conceal our physiognomy behind a beard.

The more salutory issue arising, not to negate your obvious attractiveness, is that jacinda and the greens are of a different generation. The lessons of two world wars, for example, that were the foundations of our childhoods, integrity, defense of democracy, due process etc… these are the forgotten lessons of history. The new principles revolve around immediacy of gratification, minimum effort and entitled reward, printing money as opposed to making it. Enough said.

When I had hair I was once beautiful. Life is so much more peaceful, now that the girls are at last leaving me alone.

The Halo effect is certainly real.

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