Blokes might envy Oliver for his extraordinary sexual allure with females from 15 to 75 hurling themselves at him whenever he steps into the street. But he complains it’s actually rather tiresome.
Each day he’s smuggled down to the carpark with a coat over his head. His recreation is confined to remote bush walks and so it goes.
He complained recently at being unable to enjoy the pleasures of a city walk without being accosted.
Then came the lockdown and even in Wellington people started wearing masks.
So Oliver donned one to have a much missed walk down Lambton Quay, only to once again be immediately accosted by lust-filled females.
Why? Enquiry revealed it was his incredibly sexy eyes (so the assaulters claimed) and the bloody mask over his lower face accented them.
But there’s no doubt he’s a genius as yesterday he donned a full face mask and disappeared for 2 hours before coming back elated. It transpired he’d walked the length of the city unaccosted, a pleasure hitherto a distant dream.