DEFENCE MINISTER HAS EYE ON RUSSIA

The above, an unbelievable Stuff headline yesterday with an underlying account how our Defence Minister, Peeni Henare, is “monitoring” the massive Russian troops build-up on Ukraine’s border.

One can picture the scene in the Kremlin. A lackey bursts in to Putin’s office.

“Terrifying news from New Zealand Mr President. Our embassy has just cabled. Their military boss is hinting at action over our Ukraine recovery plan”.

Putin pales and begins to shake. “We’re buggered,” he quivers. “Order our army to retreat at once,” then adds “And send me a doctor urgently with some sedatives”.

Of course, a more likely response is occurring in Messines Road, Karori at the Russian embassy, also with a doctor bringing sedatives, only in this case to help bring under control the Embassy personnel’s hysterical laughter on reading this Stuff report.

That said, a Herald site lead story yesterday had me also about to seek sedatives when I read a heading that the coach of the women’s Black Ferns rugby team was under investigation following a player’s complaints.

As we know this always means sexual molestation claims with women’s sport’s male coaches and without wishing to be unkind, frankly such a scenario in this case seemed utterly inconceivable.

And so it proved, the complainant apparently protesting at the coach ribbing her poor performance, something she actually conceded.

So, with sanity restored, no sedatives were required, albeit had it been the standard sexual complaint, I doubt any exist powerful enough to cope on this occasion.

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