Wellington commercial real estate agent Chris Gollins certainly secures some interesting properties to sell.

Currently he’s advertising a strata floor for sale in a multi-level Lower Hutt office building “as is, where is”.  The “where is” clearly implies a capability to shift it elsewhere, an exercise which would certainly be a wonderful spectacle if undertaken.

I’ve written for years about the practise of commercial property agents talking cock. For example orthodox industrial buildings being described as “hard working” or for no reason, “high tech”. Rental areas are nowaday “footprints” which in fact they’re not. The latest vogue is for standard storage industrial buildings to be described as “logistic” centres.

But this practise of clouding plain, fit-for-purpose language with waffle extends into every activity.

Yesteryear’s staff clerk is now “Manager – Human Resources”. This clumsy back to front vogue is now rife in both the government and commercial sectors wherein often minor management job descriptions are stretched out ungrammatically.

It’s time lesser roles joined in. Bus drivers can become Human Transport Linkage Executives, stop-go sign holders, Overseers – Vehicle Management Safety Executives and so on.

One that particularly irks me is the unnecessary introduction of the word “solutions” into mainly tradesmen’s company names. Joe Blow Plumber Ltd is now Joe Blow Plumbing Solutions Ltd, a sure give-away of dealing with a halfwit. So too a half page advertisement by commercial real estate agency CBRE in The Herald a week back.

It’s flogging a conventional supermarket building but half of the space is given over to this message, “Award Winning Real Estate Solutions.” This is sheer gibberish, compounded by “award winning” this a pre-fix to virtually everything in New Zealand. I’d stay well clear of it.


As is – where is is a term with legal standing.. Don’t take it too literally.

Many people read no more then they have too – and so only see advertising gibberish thus never learning more than the common patois. If I never hear another sportsman or woman say something is awesome, or an assertion that a business man or woman say they are excited to do something trivial, it will be wonderful. Our language is so full of clear descriptive words it is a crime not to use them.

Why be simple if obfuscation is an option. The education system excels in this art. So a few decades back the hijacked biology. And plans evolved, Groups became cells, I think we even photosynthessised. Then when the terminology was mastered a change was needed and the business world was raided. Its not cool to speak simply

Just been watching PGA Tour golf coverage and some guy pops up for an interview with this job title – Executive Vice President, Diversity and Inclusion, Public Sector, Worldwide Technology Solutions.
I would have no idea how he fills his day in!? Cheers Steve Ellis

Whilst working in a petrol station pumping gas for shits and giggles I used to describe myself as a ‘Petroleum Distillate Transfer Technician’.

    Technician, pffff… Try harder, anyone can be at least a Manager if not more!

    In the 1970s, a gentleman named Neil Thimbleby was my club coach. Upon his appointment, and in pre-season training, he addressed club members in serious tone, to make it quite clear that he was “not a wharfie” (which he was), but “a cargo-oloigist” (the hyphen is my doing). No-one, at least not in his right mind, challenged him.

Right Honourable stands out like dogs ball also…

Sorry to have to let you know that HR is now morphed into “People & Culture”

Excerpt speech minister of health Feb 2021.

” While we’re aware and appreciate your position, in terms of the journey we have collectivley sat through, i’d like us to appreciate the diversity and incredible inherent intelligence in all peoples of colour moving forward, following severe brain injury ”

ahhhhhh yep ffs.
Escape while you can.

Commercial RE advertising is aspersional – it speaks of the person. For example, Great Looking Hair Salon for lease. Who do you think will want to lease it … .

😁😆😅 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

As any paid up Wokester will tell you, its not about what it means but how it makes you feel that is important…

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