VISION FROM GOD

Bishop Brian Tamaki, told the NZ Herald he received a vision from God instructing him to disrupt political campaigns in the coming election.

His Grace didn’t say which particular God provided this vision (there’s been nearly 2000 in human history) and the Christians and Muslims excepted, all have had names.

I must say it does seem rather rude to refer to this God chap so impolitely, after all, if His Grace calls in a plumber I’m sure he wouldn’t address him simply as Plumber.

Be that as it may, the Bishop’s deity whoever he is, (that’s of course assuming he’s a bloke and not a female or transvestite or whatever, this latter a possibility given the Christian’s one is always portrayed bearded and in a ballgown) should also send another vision to the good Bishop, advising it would help his cause no end if his disrupters were not obese, as they’ve been to date.

I’d pay serious money to have say 24 hours at this Godding lark and send His Grace some visions. They’d be a damn sight more imaginative than meetings’ disruptions by unsightly obese blokes.

I’d open the batting by instructing the good Bishop to lead a naked march with his followers down Queen Street, and if he cops an indecent exposure charge that’s easily defended by pointing out there was nothing to see. I say that as a senior medical professional mate told me last week that maori penises are the second smallest in the world, this clearly part of God’s design.

That would suffice for his Grace as I’d be busy with other activities, in particular zapping dictators, such as Putin with lightning strikes, and of course Trump in the interest of civilisation.

All of that would certainly constitute doing God’s work.