LIGHTENING OUR LIVES

“One of the best Auckland lawyers” struck off over incompetent advise to nude model charged with indecent act.”

The above is a Herald heading which lifted my spirits. But it still can’t top a wonderful Dominion newspaper heading nearly 40 years ago, namely, “Chainsaw wielding transvestite attacked Mr Whippy man.” That was world class.

For the record the “one of the best…” was the lawyer’s description of himself, the nude model was a male and his offence was masturbating while posing for a single female artist client.

This sort of stuff enriches our lives. Perhaps a sensible defence would have been for the male model to claim he was so overcome by his artist client’s beauty he couldn’t help himself, thus in the circumstances showed admirable restraint in merely masturbating.

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The best headline of all time was the one announcing David Lange’s affair with Margaret Pope: “Lay preacher lays pope”.

The best headline of all time was the one announcing the affair between David Lange and Margaret Pope: “Lay preacher lays pope”.

Makes me think back to the time a psychiatrist named Geiranger ( I think ) who gave this classic piece of advice ( in a German accent)…
‘ If you vant to vank…then vank’!!

One of my favourites is this gem of a Stuff headline from a 2011 report on an incident in Blenheim “Teen caught by police wearing stolen undies”

Surely the classic headline was from a British newspaper in the late fifties declaring “Sir Vivian Fuchs off to Antarctica”. Apparently many heads rolled over that one.

I think the classic “Headless Body in Topless Bar” from the NY Post in 1983 is hard to beat. https://www.politico.com/media/story/2012/01/the-real-story-of-headless-body-in-topless-bar-as-argued-by-veterans-of-the-post-000201

There was a cyclone Winston headed our way a couple of years ago.
The Herald headline: “Winston Peters Out”

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