WONDERFUL NEWS

Break out the champagne. Pull your weeping family members out of their beds and tell them the wonderful news and that their worries are finally over. For the Herald in a headline article, advised the glorious news that Millie Holmes is back in New Zealand, currently under quarantine lockdown.

Thank God, thank God. Let the church bells ring out, let Jacinda issue a statement calling for a public holiday; let…oh it doesn’t matter.

But why, why, why does the Herald think this utterly insignificant woman is newsworthy? Her sole claim to fame is that literally, before most New Zealanders alive today were born, Paul Holmes was very briefly married to her mother.

Whoever in the Herald thought this absolutely nothing event to be newsworthy should be publicly flogged as a lesson to others in the regrettably fast fading newspaper industry.

15 Comments

I couldn’t agree more! I cringe when I see the Kardashian’s in any headline as well.

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Unusually muted Bob but absolutely on the button, with just one mistake. She would be newsworthy if she would have the honesty to accept the accolade of “World’s high priestess of Bad Judgement” – body disfigurement, blokes, you name it – she’s cocked it up every time.

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Oh joy… thank you Sir Bob! Many sleepless nights I have had wondering when Ms Holmes was returning. I do not know how the country has survived without the influencer extraordinaire to show us the way. Tattoos, famous parents, trendy haircut… she has it all, soon she will appear on the Green Party list.

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markscreaminggoosearmstrong August 8, 2020 at 11:40 am

Oh come on Sir Robert! She is a hot Holmes-some doctored daughter who modelled, addicted, successfully head-hunted then her head man got killed off in the most public way possible…she’s a tabloid dream of a woman!

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I am in Wanaka and reading ‘The Press’ every day. It has so much better journalism than ‘the herald’, more news that is actually worth reading and a far better cartoonist. The Herald could certainly learn a lot from this worthy newspaper.

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Alastair Gustafson August 8, 2020 at 1:31 pm

I recall in Advertising 303 back in the day – 1997 – under a guy called Stewart, who once ran a E H Morris funeral home on Kent Terrace now a restaurant, that those in advertising agencies accounted for a fraction of the population but had a significant influence on the populace over and above any real worth; blinded by their brilliance, if you wish. Likewise our humanist postmodernist journos, I’ll add, who get invites to parties the rest of us ought to decline.

P.S. I still have the text book. Yours for $80 delivered.

The more I engage with my favourites the more I emulate but true, true, true.

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It was only a few days ago that in one of the Herald’s trivia quizzes there was a question which asked in which year Queen Elizabeth II was coronated! Even the American spell check on my computer didn’t recognise the word.

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Come on now, she’s made attention seeking into an art form. That’s got to be worth something.

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Haha So true who gives a F apart from the Herald

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But it might be that its Sir Pauls fault that this so called “social influencer,celebrity, and purported member of the glitterati” who has consistently filled her life with poor choices that obviously weren’t her fault and this is fact is still newsworthy . After all the wet brigade do need to be entertained with something irrelevant and of course her personal privacy is not a consideration in the potential but possibly unlikely absence of requesting the Heralds scrutiny and reporting .

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I’m afraid I had to ask Madame Google who Paul Holmes was.

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And then the Herald will escalate the next attention grabbing headline by doubling the font size to exclaim: “Millie Holmes & Max Key staying at same address”.

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The demise of the Herald is truly something to behold; the childish gossip isn’t the worst of it.
They absolutely refuse to print any discussion on climate change outside the orthodox narrative. Their incessant denigration of President Trump began with feature articles shortly after inauguration claiming that his hands were too small (so obviously unfit to govern) to the recent joyful revelation that he was being “mercilessly ridiculed” for saying Thighland instead of Thailand. I’m with Trump; thighland is much more appealing.

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markkarakaaccountingconz August 10, 2020 at 8:47 am

You will love this!

Mark

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