New Zealand is arguably the easiest country in the world to stomp out a virus pandemic, simply because of our small population and our islands remoteness. But after the often embarrassing small nation self-awareness, the back-slapping, self-congratulations and infantile “team of 5 million” claptrap, we’ve discovered we can’t.

I was delighted to read of a Canadian psychiatrist being censured by the Canadian College of Physicians following a bevy of complaints from madwomen.

God help us; the bloody Herald has done it again and provided a lengthy “update” on Millie Elder Holmes’s “progress” in her 14 days hotel room quarantine.

So, what has Millie done? Found a cure for cancer? Nope. Written a novel, learnt to speak Bulgarian, composed a symphony, taught herself to play the banjo – no, no, no, none of those.

A Greg Harford, described as the Chief Executive of Retail NZ which is apparently a shopkeepers association, had an article published on the Stuff website. Specifically, he called for building owners to subsidise his members for their decline in sales and losses due to the lockdown.

In the Dominion Post’s commercial properties for sale section, Colliers are advertising an industrial building under the astonishing heading, “VENDOR SAYS SELL.”

Now who would ever have guessed that?