Below, over two years back, my Blog, still as apt as ever.
Why must All Black coaches be so bloody dreary? Compare them with the animated European football managers, as their coaches are called, or our netball coaches and our joyous women’s rugby coaches.
And while on the subject of rugby, bring back Grant Nisbett, far and away our best non-hysterical rugby commentator, (apart from the occasional “quick hands” lapse when the ball is being passed out).
NEW ALL BLACK COACH QUALIFACTIONS
The New Zealand Rugby Union has announced the qualification requirements for the new All Black coach.
1) He must have a perpetually gloomy demeanour and produce affidavits from two psychiatrists that he suffers from acute depression.
2) Additionally, affidavits are required from four witnesses who can swear they’ve known him for at least two decades and confirm he has never once smiled.
3) He must rarely speak but on occasions when it’s unavoidable, must do so very slowly in a mumbling manner and confine all remarks to empty platitudes.
4) He must be prepared to wear at all times an electronic belt made specially for this position, which maintains a steady series of mildly painful electric shocks to assist and maintain an unhappy appearance.
6 Comments
They are simply maintaining the standard set by Grizz Wyllie.
You must be on to something with this SB !
Labour has announced that all national sports teams are to have at least a 78% make up of LBGQI123 people to reflect their peer review statistical data indicating LBGQI1234 people in NZ now number over 80% of our total population.
These coaches are obviously just weirdo straight people, lacking in fresh ideas and very boring outfits with so yesterday hairdo’s.
Lets all remember to take a fence out there people, just not straight ones…a.
That’s probably why John Hart didn’t last – he smiled!
True, although I appreciate rugby adhering to it’s ‘no dickheads’ policy. Unlike soccer (no longer football since EUR:USD parity) which is still coached, played, refereed and supported by dickheads.
Unfortunately John Hart lasted too long.5 consecutive tests lost .kept in his position by the Auckland mafia on the NZRFU Board and then a loss in the RWC semi final. He then had the good grace to resign.
It happens when its an old boys network, who has little understanding on the positive effects a charismatic coach can have on business…
Largely explains why Rugby is going backwards in this country..