Last week I advised that after 2000 years of endless promises of an imminent Second Coming, Jesus had finally returned.

He’d done so in the form of Duncan Copley of Milford who had revealed to Herald readers his personal knowledge of circa 1.2 million Labour voters’ secret thoughts. No doubt about that as an example of extraordinary supernatural powers.

But alas, I’m not saying Duncan’s an imposter but he aint Jesus.

I know that as he’s been massively trounced on the knowing what everyone’s thinking front by a Peter D. Graham of Island Bay, Wellington. The “D” is presumably to distinguish him from the dozens of other Peter Grahams in Island Bay.

Plainly Peter D Graham is a cover for Jesus and not merely because Island Bay is a more fittingly humble address than Milford to make his second coming return.

Here’s the truly mind-blowing evidence of Peter D Graham’s extraordinary powers.

Writing in last Saturday’s Dominion Post Peter D Graham said, “There are billions of people in semi-democratic or communist countries who look at the American situation and ask is this what we want?”

So there you have it. Peter D Graham has gone on public record and admitted to being privy to the private thoughts of billions of people. If he’s not finally the Second Coming after 2000 years of waiting, then it’s never going to happen as he certainly has the qualifications.

Peter should climb into a nightie and sandals, grab a shepherd’s crook and bowl into the city centre pronto, so we can pay appropriate homage to him.


Thousands agree with you Sir Bob…i know from the ants.

The poor sods are probably thinking “how do we get out of this shitty ghetto/slum”(tick appropriate box)

Well there was another profound revelation on Television One’s 6pm News last night. A reporter, who I expect holds a PHD, commented that the rain is very wet. I suggest that’s not the only thing that is wet.

With my incredible superpowers, I too know what Labour voters were thinking.

A few were traditional National voters, “keep the idiot Greens out of power.” But the majority know that “Jacinda is a real life magical fairy princess who grants endless wishes.”

It will take another 3 years for these people to realise that none of these magical wishes actually come true.

Leave a Reply