The above is an extraordinary heading from last Saturday’s New Zealand Herald.

The Herald must have a sub-editing policy of only employing the deeply retarded. For in fact the issue had absolutely nothing to do with mocking Trump’s son, rather it solely related to Campbell’s reference to him as a “total dick”.

It transpired that a screamingly pathetic individual, an Alan Dick, which is a reasonably common name in New Zealand, took umbrage and complained to the Broadcasting Standards Authority. They rightly told him to get stuffed and get a life (not in those words in their formal response but doubtless much stronger among themselves when they discussed this and had finished laughing).

I’ve never referred to anyone as a dick for one reason, namely it’s so mild an insult as to seem pointless rendering it.

This sort of ‘taking offence’ is very much a soaking wet middle-aged male thing.

Imagine say someone punchy like Sean Plunket interviewing this woeful Alan Dick about his views on life. My God it would be entertaining.

But before it went to air it would be wise to advise the Lesbian Enrolment Centre to have all hands on deck to cope with the rush of female applicants, understandably fleeing from further male contact after listening to this woeful Alan Dick’s miserable offence-taking.


Love this article Mr Jones

Would female applicants at the Lesbian Enrolment Centre be considered to be a tautology?

I image A Dick has been given a bit of hard time all his life. What were his parents thinking?

    A lifetime ago I worked for a company in the UK that used to loan money to people for things such as boats, cars and other “lifestyle” purchases. During one mailout to former customers, no doubt inviting them to borrow more money, the person doing the mailing managed to get the two consonants in one addressee’s first name round the wrong way.

    Mr Alan Burns was not best pleased with this.

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