Dear Colin,

Bad luck copping the $400,000 awarded against you by Justice Anne Hinton. I know Anne who’s a kindly soul with a sense of humour but understandably like all Aucklanders today, was probably a bit grumpy about the bloody lockdown excesses. Anyway, we all have our off-days.

But look on the bright side son. For nigh on a decade you’ve hugely entertained the nation, and I don’t just mean with your splendid poetry. So I say to you Colin, don’t be downhearted. Issue more writs, although not again Ms MacGregor. You’ve done that one to death.

The question is against who? Here I can be helpful. Why not create history and be the first person ever to sue himself? The advantages of that should need no spelling out, namely you can run both the plaintiff’s and defence’s case. It has to be a winner.

With luck you will cop Justice Hinton again and probably, she feeling remorseful over the $400,000, will find for you and award you twice as much to compensate.

Then wearing your defendent’s hat you can appeal. There’s a good decade of litigation, of appeals and counter-appeals in this one, so go for it.

And think of the poetry potential. You’ve got established form for love poems which you can aim at yourself but, then wearing your defendent’s hat you can enter new poetic territory with some vicious attacking material against yourself, adding to the damages you could seek when in your plaintiff role suing yourself.

This is something you were born to do so don’t mess about mate. The nation needs this to lift its spirits, so file an action smartly.


Fantastic stuff!

\Please keep up the good work.

There are many Colins in the world who have done the name proud (despite the proclivity for prats in movies to be called Colin.)
Colin Chapman, Colin Croft ,Colin Powell, Colin Kaepernick, Colin Firth etc etc.
Sadly, Mr Craig, you have done more for the prats than the winners…Much much more.


we should have paid CC for the sheer unadulterated fun and levity he has at no cost provided us with over the years….as we all know laufhter IS the best medi and we all need a hue dose of same in these cheap and twisted times…

Wonderful thoughts again, Sir Bob.

Please don’t shift overseas, your country needs you and your splendid insights. Although, as an avid news ‘consumer’, and with the web, your talents will still be easily shared. Who knows, Jacinda may be kind enough to read them.

Hey Bob, why promote Colin rather than me. And I’ll gladly just accept $400k…no need to double it unless he wants to. But I will reject the love poem.


Brilliant! Thanks.

Definitely the victim of a honey trap and walked right into it from naivety.

Hilarious! keep it up Sir Robert!! haha!

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Bob Jones’ Letter to Colin CraigAugust 23, 2023 at 1:52 pm

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